There is a problem I think many of us millennials are currently experiencing. An issue that’s probably a contributing factor to the increasing divorce rate, loss of jobs, dysfunctional family’s, poor parenting, unplanned parenting and flat out irresponsible adults.
We go into highschool expecting grades to come easy, to date and receive everything we ask for, were sore losers with sports, we expect teachers to have empathy when we miss a test, being late was to be excused, we don’t want an after school job our parents can pay, bullying to be permitted (when you weren’t being bullied) and being able to drink under the legal drinking age should not result in much consequence at all.
Most enter some sort of post secondary schooling where we expect to not only take classes when we want, where we want but how we want.
Not all of us are prepared, we don’t know what we want to be. We get school paid for by bursaries, scholarships or mom and dad.
We have so much more freedom versus highschool, we expect to figure out our direction or have someone tell us our path.
We expect to be able to hold the same habits as we did of highschool.
We don’t accept being dropped from a class let alone kicked out of school.
We mostly pursue the opposite sex in hopes someone out there will be our perfect match to complete us.
We exit post secondary school expecting a job right away, we don’t have any work experience, but we worked so hard to get that piece of paper that says “we can do it!”.
When we don’t get hired right away and we have to revert back to a “lower” status job it effects our pride. We deserve everything.
I am not saying it’s fair how much we drop on universities and colleges, only to come out looking for a job and are told “you need work experience to be hired” and we scratch our heads thinking, “well I can’t gain experience, if I don’t get hired…”.
This post isn’t catering to people of my generation, I’ll save that for another post…
Resuming forward, when we do get hired we carry through the same habits as we did in highschool.
We should be allowed to be late because traffic can be terrible and late nights are hard to recover from.
We should be allowed to advance in the company quicker then “Bob” or “Mary” who’s been at it for decades.
When we finally meet “the one” they’re roll is to complete me and me only.
We expect that the person is continuing on the same path of life and there isn’t really any other option.
When the person doesn’t fulfill our lengthy list of expectations, we don’t like that very much. In some cases we leave.
We carry the same habits of highschool.
We haven’t really worked hard at anything and so far it’s worked.
We get what we want, when we want. This is the generation of advanced and fast technology isn’t it?
We can order groceries, Starbucks even people on apps now.
So in a serious relationship, or even marriage when the tough gets going, we go the other way.
We revert back to the ways we always have been using in order to survive.
Drinking is normal, hanging out with friends that won’t hold us accountable or to a mature standard is easier, going to clubs and bars to fill the voids knowing full well it won’t bring true love yet we go anyway, spending money on things we don’t need but want to make us feel better about ourselves is all default.
Why do we cheat on tests, cheat on our spouses, want love yet go for meaningless sex, want peace yet use violence, want a career yet slack off, want to work but don’t want to show up on time, want to find meaning in life but avoid religious settings, why!?
We are millenials. That’s why.
We come from a dysfunctional generation, our parents generation, generation X who are known for being dysfunctional and directionless. (not applicable to everyone).
Most millenials have broken homes, statistics prove this. Our parents did not generally have that.
I am not saying that just because our grandparents stayed together because divorce was deemed as unacceptable, because in some cases, I am positive it made things worse.
Again, I’m picking on my age group for now.
We are the generation of entitlement.
We didn’t have fathers that stuck around, we didn’t have a mom that was attentive because she had to work, we had a babysitter that was inappropriate, we have siblings from different dads, we had rich parents who never held hands, we had the highly educated dad who never thought we were good enough, we had both parents working and were never home, mom takes care of our kids, we have identity issues, we were taught on some level we don’t have to try hard at anything, were privileged because our schools have been paid for, we get to live in a free country which we take for granted, our parents bought our first home, we got to work at dad’s business, we learned that violence was casual, drinking was normal and that we didn’t really have to do anything we didn’t want to.
This next generation, my kids generation will be worse.
If a child gets upset, an iPad of some sort will be stuck in their face, scary.
I know for a fact elderly people who are now baby boomers, my grandparents generation, “ramble” on about the old days and how kids aren’t like they used to be.
We roll our eyes, but their absolutely right! Thing’s aren’t like they used to and its a huge problem to say the least.
Although we as generation have involved in some ways versus that of our grandparents in the ways that we are much more honest publicly, most family’s now don’t tend to turn a blind eye when something illegal going on, we don’t tend to feel forced to go to a stuffy church and wear hats, women have lots of rights and racism isn’t socially acceptable anymore, it does not nullify our unhealthy habits as entity’s of this generation.Directing towards males for a moment here, because they are leaders and the head of the households (I say this generally, feminists need not be offended).
It’s hard for guys these days because a lot of millenials did not have well rounded, consistent father figures in their lives.
This causes so many issues in early childhood development all throughout school into adult years.
It’s sad because we are the next generation, these boys who have undergone really poor examples of what a man should be like are our future doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, husbands and fathers.
It’s scary actually.
We have to start making changes as to what kind of future our children will grow up in and break this habit that’s started.
The only way to change isn’t by buying into the worlds lies about how great one will feel if they had this spouse, this car, that job, these clothes, those friends and so on.
Were a generation that’s lost our identity, our identity lies within our careers, choice of life partner and of course the pressures of social media.
We want what we don’t have, if we get bored of what we have, we get something new, even if it means getting a new partner.
It’s all a false mask and underneath we are very confused young adults that don’t actually know how to cope with life because most of us were not taught properly.
I think change starts with who we associate with, what we do in our spare time, what we do when no one is watching, the friends we choose to have, the things we spend our money on and the way we treat others as well as ourselves when nothing’s in it for us.
I think people have forgotten a lot of morals because now a days it is so easy to hide things, in fact things that used to be socially unacceptable are now a “normal” part of society.
Affairs are permitted with just a click away on a site.
A person to have casual sex with is just a swipe right away.
A place to drown our sorrows are on every block.
An en slaw of “likes” to feed our insecurities are but a “post” away.
When were lonely, all we have to do is hop online and there’s someone, even if we don’t know them, to talk to.
When we don’t like what we look like in “that” photo, resolution is but a filter away.
Honesty with ourselves is the most important thing and I don’t think alot of us are honest with what we struggle with, envy, lust after, want, need, spend our money on, our poor habits, our thoughts and decisions.
We need to be authentic and real because as any wise person knows, lying always, always, always will be revealed. When it’s found out before we get a chance to admit it, the repercussions well exceed had we just admitted it.
We’ve forgotten who we are, what were meant to do yet we see everyday on the news all the destruction, chaos and injustice that goes on in our world.
The harsh reality is we are a leading cause in it.
Were a very selfish and self absorbed generation and it needs to end now.
Were a very angry generation from dad leaving, mom not being attentive, a relative passing away suddenly, a sibling committing suicide, being lied to, being cheated on, not getting what we want, a failed exam, a teacher that gave up on us, being dumped in a relationship, being bullied, not being heard and so on.
So, food for thought.
How about instead of going to that bar to drown your sorrows, stay home and have a night to yourself.
Instead of buying that brand new “thing” whatever it is, think about the last time you bought your friend their meal? When was the last time you gave some change to a homeless person or bought them food? When was the last time you called a relative that is lonely? When was the last time you took a friend out and paid? When was the last time you messaged someone and complimented them? Have you ever bought a random persons tab in a drive thru?
If you can’t remember any or not many of those, that’s definitely something you should do before you buy whatever it is you think you need.
Instead of resenting that coworker who has the position “you should have” why not make a list of all the good things about them, compliment them on at least one?
Instead of feeling entitled you didn’t get the job your certified to do, take another job and make the best of it.
Humble yourself, maybe its a life lesson you need to learn before that new job is given to you.
Instead of walking out on your marriage, why not take the time to work on the things that you can work on. Because you can’t force the other person to change. You can only change you.
Instead of abandoning a friend in need, gossiping and causing drama, try and think about them more then yourself. Think of something nice you could do or say to them.
These are all little tweaks we could make in our busy and selfish lives.
I realize things wont ever be like it was a hundred years ago, bringing a pie over to the neighbor, mailing a letter and waiting weeks for a response.
Unfortunately, we hide behind our screens to talk to people now, we definitely do not have patience to wait weeks for answers. For literally anything.
I do think however, we can make little changes that can have long lasting big effects, in a positive way.
We are disgusted with what is going on in the world, yet we are the next generation that can make significant changes if we stopped feeling sorry for ourselves.
This generation of “men” aren’t men.
They are boys in men’s bodies that I think any man of the age of 50 and older can attest to.
Men are to be the head of the household, leaders, protectors and too many are lost searching for women to fill voids, expecting everyone to hand things to them because they don’t feel like they have to do the work because the world robed them of ( Insert things you’ve felt robbed of here) and the world owes them everything.
Money, power, sex, food, clothes, jobs, promotions, places to live and friends.
No, the world doesn’t actually owe you anything and neither does anyone.
You however owe it to yourself to be the best person you can possibly be, the world doesn’t need more dead beat dads, alcoholics, abusers, drug addicts, homeless men, rich yet arrogant men, liars, cheaters, predators, deceivers, thieves, murderers, players, selfish men, workaholics, mamas boys or absent husbands.
The world needs more Ephesians 5:21-33 men. Men of God.
This generation of “women” aren’t women. They are lost girls in women’s bodies that I think women over the age of 50 can attest to.
Women ought to worry less about what they look like and a bit more on being a better person on the inside.
Women need to stop engaging in so much gossip, materialistic obsessions and insecurities.
Too many girls are wearing make up far too soon and acting way too old then they should.
Girls need to be taught how to value themselves and that their appearances are not what brings value to their relationships.
Girls need to be taught not to bully other girls, that needs to be cut off before adulthood.
Women of all age groups need to stop worrying about “that guy”, “if he will call”, “does this look good on me?”, “I wish I looked like that!” and “Psst did you hear about so and so?”. We need to respect ourselves, irregardless of what issues we had growing up with the male figures in our lives or what poor examples our mothers gave.
We as women need to learn to be happy with ourselves inwardly more then outwardly, thus attracting a quality guy instead of repeatedly picking abusive and toxic men.
The world doesn’t need more girls that bully, women that don’t value themselves, women that depend on men to validate them, neglectful moms, promiscuous women, women that obsess way too much about their appearance, women that gossip about one another, two faced women, women that are controlling, women that don’t have a voice, women that aren’t good friends and women that don’t believe in themselves.
The world needs more, Psalm 31 women. Women of God.
The world needs less “millenials” and needs better “Generation Y”‘s.